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How to cope with the fact that my family does not support me?

How to cope with the fact that my family does not support me?

Toxic thinking 

Toxic thinking is the opposite of common sense. It is a block, a barrier to being able to live the life we desire. To make us feel good, happy and fulfilled. We can recognize this state ourselves, we know that we are not in an optimal setting and that we do not feel well.

Toxic thoughts do not serve us.

And yet they catch everyone from time to time.

Either they appear directly in our head, as a test of whether we are really determined to handle the given thing, or our surroundings serve them to us.

While we can resolve our own doubts, the pressure from family and friends, from the closest people in our world, can sow a big seed of doubt, or even force us to give up the whole plan and dreams.

And we must not allow that.

 

You've always been such a naive dreamer...

I've always loved talking about my work ideas and dreams. About my vision of a satisfied and fulfilled life. I had a lot of ideas and it made me happy just to be able to talk about them to someone.

But I learned pretty quickly that the most important thing is who you tell about your ideas. Today, I only talk about business with work partners or with friends who also run businesses. With people who are on the same page and sharing with each other will be rewarding.

However, you can't change your family and friends overnight (and you don't really want to). So let's look at how to handle an unsupportive environment.

 

It's their story. Not yours.

You need to realize that even if the advice from family and friends is unpleasant, teasing or even offensive, in most cases it is well-intentioned. Those people like you, but they only base their judgments and advice on their own experiences, fears, and concerns.

A person who feels financially undervalued, doesn't enjoy work but nothing changes, can't look at your optimistic business plan with detachment. He probably cannot even imagine that something like this can be managed.

Of course, it is difficult if the people around you talk you out of your idea. A person especially in the beginning needs support. But try to understand it:

  • They may be afraid that you will somehow endanger the family. They want to protect themselves. 
  • They may be afraid that you won't be able to do it and will be disappointed. They want to protect you. 
  • And then there's the old familiar "I'm not good enough" feeling - what if you manage to do something they never did and live the life they only dream of?

 

They put THEIR OWN FEAR into their answers. Even if it's actually your success or failure.

 

You can't change other people's thinking, but you can block it

Do not take such an approach from loved ones as bad. Their goal is to protect themselves and you. If possible, have an open conversation with them and set some boundaries that will be followed regarding your dream. So that you, especially, feel comfortable in it.

But this is not possible in every family/friendship. Not everyone can respect your wishes.

Some coaches will radically recommend you to change your family and friends at this point. I think that a less radical solution is sufficient for the beginning. Don't talk to your family about business.

You don't have to talk to everyone about everything. Look for topics in debates where you have a common opinion and if your dream comes up, just tactfully change the topic. Don't try to prove anything to them, you won't convince them anyway. And if you are still not convinced about your dream, you will get an unnecessary load of additional fears. And we know that family can sometimes hit exactly the most sensitive spot.

The good news is that this is likely a temporary situation. When you succeed in making your dream come true (for example, you really get the business off the ground), everyone will be interested in how you did it.

Until then, find a community of people to get along with. Who will be on the same page and will motivate you too. When you devote yourself to your dream, sooner or later you will attract them into your life.

You can also use my services as a mentor and coach. I am ready to safely guide and support you through this. Together we will set your mind to withstand such situations.

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